


So Hot You're Hurting My Feelings

by kenmarot (bope)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Smut, Getting Together, M/M, Roommates, Size Difference, Size Kink, kenma pining and thirsting for kuroo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 00:49:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28894680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bope/pseuds/kenmarot
Summary: Kuroo Tetsurou, childhood friend, former volleyball captain, and now-university roommate, is making Kozume Kenma suffer.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou
Comments: 27
Kudos: 397





	So Hot You're Hurting My Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> there are two demons inside of me: one that wants to keep writing fluff and another that just wants smut. this fic is their messy baby
> 
> inspired by caroline polachek’s song of the same title

Life as Kuroo’s roommate is great. Despite his best friend’s often shameless attitude and rowdy behavior, Kuroo is actually clean and responsible. Keeps his stuff in order. Takes out the trash during his turn. Leaves notes about his schedule and if they ran out of milk. Keeps quiet when he comes back to the apartment late.

Ideal.

Of course, Kenma already had a sense of this side of Kuroo, being friends since childhood and all. But it’s definitely one thing to see it as a neighbor and another to experience it for himself. Kenma couldn’t ask for a better roommate.

Except maybe when he becomes all too aware of Kuroo’s… presence.

**to: Akaashi**

who does he think he is, akaashi?!?

why is he almost 190 cm and broad as fuck at 20???

how is that fair !!!!!!!!!!!

It’s Saturday morning and he’s still in bed. It’s been a month into the new school year, which means he’s been rooming with Kuroo for a month and a half. And Kenma has been suffering for three weeks, more or less.

**from: Akaashi**

Kozume-san, can I call? I’d love to hear you gay panic.

**to: Akaashi**

i come to u in my time of need and u laugh at my pain

Truthfully, Kenma is hardly an expressive texter. He doesn’t even use punctuation marks. Out of authenticity to sound as deadpan as he does in real life, or out of sheer laziness, his friends don’t really know nor mind.

Then came The Second Realization and he won’t stop texting Akaashi with at least a dozen question marks and exclamation points since. He’s even forced himself to become more and more comfortable at taking phone calls just so he can complain more quickly.

**from: Akaashi**

So can I?

**to: Akaashi**

fine

He glances at himself on the black mirror of his screen before his phone starts to ring. There’s already a pout on his lips, displeased at Akaashi’s amusement.

“What?” Kenma greets as soon as he picks up.

“Hello to you too, Kozume-san. As I recall, _you_ wanted to talk to me?” The smirk Akaashi most probably has on his face right now pops up in Kenma’s mind. He scowls even deeper.

Throwing himself back on the bed, he sighs as his back hits the mattress. His voice is soft and quiet when he says, “I don’t know how long I can do this, Akaashi. I have to live with him for a year.”

“For 10 months and a half,” Akaashi supplies. Kenma does not appreciate the correction.

“Akaashi, focus.”

“Yes, yes. I’m sorry.” The bastard’s pleased chuckle reaches his ear. “So, what happened this time?”

Kenma groans at the fresh memory. It’s always embarrassing telling Akaashi about his recent… revelation about Kuroo. But he pushes on anyway because he needs to get it out of his chest, or else he’d do something stupid. Like shaving his head or moving out with no warning. Akaashi has personally expressed that he does not want Kenma doing anything stupid.

“He goes to the gym on Saturdays, yeah? It was just his usual morning. He gets up early to eat something light, then comes back to our room to change and get his things.” Kenma turns to look at Kuroo’s side of the room. His bed is neat. “He must have seen that I was half-awake from all the shuffling, because he fucking _looms_ over my bed. Tells me that he’s going and will be back with lunch or whatever.”

“How considerate,” Akaashi comments.

“I know,” Kenma winces. “Anyway, there’s a window in the room and in the morning, light fills up the room so much. It’s actually pretty annoying—don’t comment on that, Akaashi. But when he was standing there next to my bed, _bending_ as if I couldn’t see him just fine, he was blocking out all the light? He’s so… broad…”

Kenma trails off as he imagines Kuroo beside his bed again, looking down at him. The bedroom is flooded in the morning light right now. He’d been cast in a soft shadow earlier. The memory heats up his cheeks.

It isn't anything major, Kenma's aware. So, he speaks before Akaashi can point it out, “I don’t know what to do anymore, Akaashi.” He flips over to groan loudly into his pillow.

There’s a hum at the other end of the call. This is usually the part where Akaashi does his magic and asks a bunch of embarrassing questions to help Kenma make sense of things.

“But Kuroo-san has always been bigger than you. Why are you reacting like this now?” Kenma is about to reply when Akaashi asks another question, “Is it because you’ve realized you like him?”

Kenma closes his eyes to think.

The First Realization happened a little more than a year ago. Kenma was just informed of how he was supposed to room with a stranger, who turned out he neither liked nor disliked. He was finally going to university. Finally going to see Kuroo all the time again.

Except it wasn’t that easy. With their classes not syncing in schedule, the childhood friends mostly just met on the weekends. But only when they didn’t have mountains of school work and a dozen group projects to finish. Whenever they had time to meet, they’d go out—the dorm rooms and libraries giving them cabin fever.

They went to Harajuku one afternoon and, looking up at Kuroo’s face in a sea of strangers, Kenma felt the pang of clarity. He wants Kuroo all the time. To be able to hold his hand like he was then without the premise of not wanting to lose each other in a crowd. Kenma wants to hold Kuroo because he wants to lose himself in him.

He must have been clutching at Kuroo’s hand too hard because the older led them to the side of a store.

“Are you okay? Do you need to rest?” Kuroo asked. So full of concern and care. Like always.

Kenma stared at his face, searching for something. For what, he didn’t know. He just felt like he had to do it. Kuroo’s brows were starting to knit with worry, so Kenma finally nodded.

“I’m fine, Kuro. Just too many people.”

Kuroo took a moment to search Kenma’s face the same way. Once satisfied, he leaned away and said, “Hm, if you say so. Let’s go home then.”

The taller boy led them to the main street again. Their hands still laced together and Kenma’s face felt warm. He wished it was winter just so he’d have a scarf to hide behind. Kenma looked down at their feet instead. There was no need to watch where he’s going. Kuroo’s right there.

The Second Realization happened in the first week that they moved in together. It wasn’t as sudden as the First. It didn’t strike him or irreparably tilted his world on its axis. Instead, it crept up on Kenma for a week. Crawled under his skin until it reached his thoughts.

Kuroo draping himself over Kenma just standing in the living area after unpacking—sweaty, bone-tired, and massive. Kuroo having to curl or bend on his bed just to fit. Kuroo towering over Kenma in the building’s elevator.

The moment of clarity happened in the middle of the night at the end of the week. Kuroo was rudely awakened by a cockroach landing on his leg out of nowhere. The banshee scream that followed got Kenma shooting up on his mattress. He kept laughing at Kuroo’s shitty luck until his roommate went straight to Kenma's bed after killing the insect.

“What?” Kenma asked, laughter slowly dying in his throat.

“I killed it on my sheets. Gonna deal with it tomorrow.”

In truth, Kenma could have nagged at Kuroo to replace his sheets right then. It wasn’t a secret that Kuroo was weak to his whining. But his best friend had looked so tired, so Kenma gave in and made space for Kuroo by moving away from the wall (that side of the bed made him feel too hot).

Big mistake.

Kuroo had to brace an arm and a leg beside Kenma before he could flip himself over to the open space. For a millisecond, Kenma was caged in underneath Kuroo–tall and lean muscled Kuroo Tetsurou, man of Kenma's dreams, wet or otherwise. The younger closed his eyes in agony.

To make it worse, the beds provided by the apartment that they've yet to replace don't fit Kuroo's legs. They had to be bent and there was no way of doing that without touching Kenma's own, even if the shorter of the two slept on his side.

They lied there in uncomfortable silence for a minute before he felt the ghost of a hand on his hip. "Kenma, do you mind?" Kuroo asked, voice quiet, but a little rough from sleep. He was starting to move to his side to mimic Kenma's position, as if to explain what he wanted to do.

Despite the alarm bells and screaming going off in his head, Kenma told him no, he doesn't mind. So Kuroo curled himself behind Kenma's body comfortably, with an arm over Kenma's waist. Back to chest. Thigh to thigh.

Kenma figured he must be as weak to Kuroo as the older was to him.

Kuroo was out the moment he settled. Meanwhile, Kenma spent the rest of the night hard and red in the face. Kuroo’s dick was _right there_. Soft, of course, but Kenma wanted to wake it up under those two layers of clothes. Contrary to popular Nekoma volleyball club belief, they’ve never actually seen each other fully naked past the age of 10 and 11. So, Kenma wasn’t aware of Kuroo’s… current size. He had much to complain about to Akaashi in the morning.

It took all of Kenma’s energy to make the little devil on his shoulder shut up. The one that whispered, “Just move your ass a little. You’re so close.”

That was when The Second Realization solidified itself. Kenma got really horny for his huge best friend. Specifically, how huge Kuroo was next to, wrapped around, and on top of Kenma.

Kenma prayed for the ground to swallow him whole. It took around an hour of staring at Kuroo’s empty bed and thinking of the worst games he’s ever played for his boner to soften. Exhaustion claimed him after that, finally going boneless in Kuroo’s hold.

Kuroo looked refreshed in the morning, not minding the dark bags under Kenma’s eyes when the older woke him up for breakfast. Kenma always looked sleep deprived anyway. The younger one took it as a feat.

The older of the two said he hasn't slept that well in years. Kenma didn't miss the glance Kuroo threw his way when he spoke; fond and soft.

They haven’t shared a bed since.

“I feel like I’d still react like his even if I wasn’t romantically attracted to him,” Kenma admits. “You’ve seen the guys I’ve gone on dates with…”

Akaashi hums on the other end, most likely recalling the three men Kenma surprisingly agreed to go on dates with during their freshman year. “Tall, tan, and leaner and bigger than you. That does sound familiar. Maybe you were projecting.”

“Maybe.” Kenma turns until his back is to the bed. He notices his feet don’t even touch the footboard when he stretches. The thought makes him blush. “Whatever it was, the feelings only make me wanna kiss him and keep him to myself on top of wanting to… you know… be fucked and stuff.” He pauses, embarrassed at how unlike him he sounds. “It’s disgusting, Akaashi!”

“You don’t actually think that.”

“No,” he sighs. “I don’t.”

Kenma is starting to think he’s a terrible person. Every time he’s alone in the same room as Kuroo, his mind wanders into what seems like the dirtiest, most shameful gutter in existence. Kuroo could be stressed from school or sore from volleyball practice, and Kenma would still be thinking of jumping his best friend. To his defense, Kuroo groans a lot when he’s stressed and drapes himself all over the couch whenever he’s sore. Kenma’s dick can only take so much stimulation.

He never acts on it though, despite Akaashi’s prodding. It doesn’t feel right initiating anything sexual with Kuroo when Kenma’s also harboring romantic feelings. Akaashi looked at him like he was stupid when he’d said that.

“You know he likes you too, right?”

Kenma gave him the same look back. “You’re delusional.”

“ _You’re_ so wrapped up in your non-problems, you don’t even realize how Kuroo-san looks at you,” the other previous setter pointed out, almost frustrated. “God forbid he starts talking about you when you’re not there.”

“Akaashi, don’t get my hopes up,” Kenma pouted and tried to ignore the fluttering in his stomach at the idea of Kuroo liking him back.

This becomes harder and harder to ignore at the end of their second month rooming together.

Kenma doesn’t want to assume why, but Kuroo’s been hanging around the apartment more often. Hanging around _him_ more often.

His best friend didn’t turn into a party animal by any means when he entered university. But people are easily drawn to Kuroo, so it only follows that his social circles are now bigger. They’re the ones that keep him company when their schedules don’t align last semester. He has parties and org events to go to. A few dates here and there, which makes Kenma’s stomach turn in retrospect.

Kuroo doesn’t seem to have as many of those this time though. Curiosity gets the better of Kenma when Kuroo comes back to the apartment at 6 pm on a Friday.

“I’m back.”

“Why are you here?” Kenma asks, not even looking away from his game on the TV. That’s his current strategy: simply just not looking at Kuroo. It’s going well so far, he thinks.

“Yes, thank you for greeting me back, Kenma. What a warm welcome,” Kuroo says from the genkan. He dumps his bag and jacket by the coffee table before throwing himself on the couch next to Kenma. The boss fight on the scene distracts Kenma too much to notice Kuroo draping an arm on the back of the couch, just behind the younger’s head. “I don’t have plans. Might as well spend quality time with my hermit of a best friend.”

“You mean, annoying me until I threaten to throw you out?” Kenma lands the killing blow without a change in his stoic expression. He wishes the battle was a little more difficult. Now, he only has the end credit scene to keep him from finally looking at Kuroo.

When did his arm drape over Kenma's shoulders?

“Exactly, exactly,” Kuroo says wisely. Kenma doesn’t have to look at him to know there’s a smirk on his face when he continues, “Except you let me annoy you even after the threats come.”

“That’s just how kind I am.”

Kuroo chuckles at the familiar line and Kenma’s cheeks instantly heat up. Fuck. Now what? He has to wear headphones all the time too? This is getting ridiculous.

“You seriously have no party to go to? No date with one of your lab classmates or whatever?” he tries again instead.

“Nope,” Kuroo says, making the last syllable pop. “Should I find a date, Kenma?”

Kenma can see him looking at his face in his periphery and hopes the colors from the game credits flushes out the red in his cheeks.

“You can do whatever you want, Kuro.”

“But I want your opinion. They’re valuable to me,” Kuroo’s tone is heavy with teasing. “You’re Nekoma’s brain after all.”

 _I feel like I’ve lost mine recently_ , Kenma thinks. In an attempt to get Kuroo to leave before his brain starts telling him to _lick his abs_ or _kiss him on the cheek_ , he says, "Sure, Kuro. Go on a date. Go annoy someone else."

Kenma doesn't expect saying that to sting a little, but it definitely does. The words are in the air now.

"That's too bad," Kuroo manages to almost sound disappointed, but Kenma's keeping his eyes on the screen. Though he doesn't miss Kuroo's smile, small and a little scared? The reason comes right after.

"How ‘bout I keep annoying you during a date?”

Kenma whips his head towards him, eyes wide and unbelieving. There’s a question on his tongue, but he can’t seem to find his voice. Kuroo still seems to hear it though.

“What? I’m serious.” Nervous laughter fills the little space between them. Kuroo looks down at his lap before he continues, “I’ve been wanting to ask you out since summer vacation. I— I probably shouldn’t assume, but sometimes you look at me like maybe you could like me back?”

Panic shoots through him. Kenma is sure he was being subtle with the staring. He’s about to deny Kuroo’s observations when everything the older man confessed catches up to him.

“You like me?” Kenma gapes. Why has he never noticed? He asks Kuroo as much.

Kuroo chuckles shyly again. He looks at Kenma with a blush high on his cheeks. “Maybe I overestimated you by calling you the brain after all.” The slap on the arm he gets is well deserved.

“So, where are we going?”

“Hmm?”

Kenma fixes Kuroo with a judging look. “This date of ours. Where are we going?”

“Oh.” His best friend looks at his face fully now and probably sees the matching pink on his cheeks. Kuroo’s lips slowly stretch into a grin—not sly or scheming, like usual, but huge and bright. Kenma doesn’t force himself to look away.

They’ve been dating for almost three weeks now and it doesn’t really feel like things changed between them. It’s good. Surprisingly easy so far. They’ve always been together anyway. Except now they hold hands, cuddle in bed, and kiss.

Kuroo did it mindlessly for the first time after wishing him a good day and before rushing to the door, already running late to class. There was a huge possibility Kuroo didn’t even realize what he did. That he'd left Kenma standing in their kitchen, eyes wide and lips tingling. Kenma struck back by giving him a quick peck once Kuroo got home, then proceeded to start a stream so his boyfriend didn’t get to gush to him about it.

Moving past the slip up of those first kisses, Kenma absolutely enjoys kissing Kuroo. He doesn’t go a day without asking for one. Well, really, more like tugging at Kuroo’s sleeve and staring at him silently until his boyfriend gets the hint. Some nights he even costs the both of them sleep just by continuously convincing Kuroo to make out with him just a little bit more.

It's embarrassing, suddenly being so needy. But this is new to him and it's something he enjoys. Plus, it makes Kuroo happy getting this much attention from Kenma, which makes _him_ happy. So, it's all good.

The only problem is that Kenma is getting really horny. Mind constantly in the gutter. He's glad no one can hear his thoughts.

They've been dating for almost three weeks now, but Kenma doesn't initiate. The insecurity from his inexperience is one reason. Another is because Kuroo doesn't seem to want to initiate either. Despite his enthusiasm while they make out in bed, Kuroo always pulls away, announcing that they're going to sleep. The few times he’s caught Kuroo with morning wood, his boyfriend rushes to excuse himself to take care of it in the bathroom, the door clicking shut before Kenma even has the chance to offer to do it for him. So, Kenma doesn't push.

Instead, he continues staring like before. Gathering material for when he has the apartment to himself, fingers squeezing at his own flesh and probing into himself. It doesn't feel good enough anymore, but Kenma will wait.

Five Mario Kart 8 grand prix, two take out bowls of ramen, a box of onigiri, and a bottle of beer each later, Kenma and Akaashi are scrolling through social media, chatting about anyone and anything interesting. Both of their boyfriends are at the same party tonight, so they decided to skip it to spend time together instead. Bokuto and Kuroo have each other anyway.

Kenma is about to suggest they watch a movie to pass the time when he gets an Instagram notification. Opening the app, he finds that Kuroo tagged him in a Story. It's of him and Bokuto, who's taking one, two, three shots of Flaming Dr. Peppers. Kuroo changes the angle so that he's mostly in the frame, laughing at the very obvious burn running through Bokuto's throat; his face red and merry. Kenma and Akaashi are both tagged on the video, no other text included.

"I can't believe I'm attracted to him," Akaashi says, amused, as he watches over Kenma's shoulder. It makes Kenma guffaw, a rarity.

"It’s impressive though— _hic_. Bokuto’s throat can take a lot of damage.”

“Oh my god.” Kenma gets a playful jab from the other setter.

After privately sending a selfie of the two of them back, the previous setters open another pair of beers and watch the short video again. Fizzy and light from the drink, Kenma holds down his thumb to pause it at Kuroo’s face. The quirk of his lips as he laughs is charming. Plus, he’s in one of his plain black shirts that hug his chest and arms well. Too well. Kenma takes another swig.

“Kozume-san, you bed Kuroo-san yet?” Akaashi’s voice is level and serious.

Kenma’s jaw drops open before laughing in his face. “You’re such a vulgar drunk, Akaashi.”

“Hmm? Which of the two of us was leering at his boyfriend just now?”

Red in the face from the beer and for getting caught, Kenma lowers his chin on his knees and groans. On impulse, he plays the video again. It’s Akaashi’s turn to laugh now.

“Not yet then,” his friend concludes.

“He just doesn’t _do_ anything. _Hic_ —I think he likes me enough sexually? Maybe he’s still just uncomfortable.” Before Akaashi could comment, probably something optimistic and reassuring, Kenma shakes his head and gives him a tiny smile. When he continues, his voice is calm and genuine, “I could learn to do things myself. I wouldn’t mind, really, if I just finally knew why. Guess I’m going to have to ask, huh?”

Akaashi nods as he drinks from his bottle. He prods at Kenma’s thigh when the shorter boy turns back to stare at the Kuroo on his phone again. “Just take a screenshot, Kozume-san. Let’s go watch that movie you were going to put on.”

Kenma follows along with a little scowl. “What business does he have being so— _hic_ —hot?”

Not trusting their boyfriends to take care of each other at Bokuto and Akaashi’s place, Akaashi and Kenma make them head back to the cats’ apartment for a little drunken sleepover. While washing up together, the Fukurodani setter, in his buzzed, less-than-composed state, teases at not having to worry about Kenma and Kuroo being handsy. Kenma only threatens to kick Akaashi and Bokuto out if they try anything on Kuroo’s former bed.

The four of them pair up and get in bed at 3 AM. All fresh and clean, though still intoxicated. Bokuto keeps trying to whisper things to Akaashi, who shushes him without much conviction. Unsurprisingly, Kuroo giggles softly along. When the laughing fit starts to fade, he looks down at Kenma, who’s tucked away in his chest and encircled in his arms.

“You saw my Story tonight, right? Bokuto’s insane,” Kuroo whispers on black roots.

“I saw. Your hyena laugh’s still horrible,” Kenma mumbles into his shirt. It’s red now and smells faintly of citrus. The way he presses closer probably isn’t subtle.

“Good thing I have my face to make up for it,” he says it in the way he always does when he wants to piss someone off.

“True. It’s your only redeeming quality.”

“Kenma!”

The smaller boy laughs silently into the chest he’s resting on. _If only you knew what that face does to me_ , Kenma thinks. Kuroo holds him closer, his hand solid on Kenma’s back.

Sleep claims Kuroo much faster than Kenma. On the bed opposite theirs, Akaashi and Bokuto breathe quietly. Kenma counts the rise and fall of Kuroo’s chest as he waits for sleep to come.

It's been weeks and Kenma still hasn't asked Kuroo about it. They're in Kichijoji tonight, catching the final show of an indie rock band Kuroo likes. The venue is a spacious bar on most days, but with a makeshift stage, instruments, and a full house, there's hardly any space to move.

A sweaty arm brushes against Kenma's and he feels his skin crawl in disgust. Kuroo catches the look on his face—set and ready to commit several murders—and pulls Kenma to his front, arms looping around him to keep other people from bumping into him. The gesture is sweet and Kenma's grateful.

Except maybe he shouldn't be so turned on by Kuroo engulfing him like this in public. His boyfriend just feels so solid around him. If someone looks at Kuroo from the back, they wouldn't be able to tell that Kenma's there. The thought makes him a little dizzy, a little delirious. He leans against Kuroo's chest for support, hoping to clear his head.

"You okay?" Warm breath grazes Kenma's earand it takes everything in him not to shiver against Kuroo.

He manages a nod and tries to keep his voice as even as usual, "Mhm. I’m okay now."

"Thanks for letting me drag you out here. I promise, the band's incredible live," Kuroo says against his skin. He pulls Kenma even tighter against his body and kisses at his temple. It's good that he doesn't apologize. Kuroo recognizes easily that Kenma's here with him because he wants to be. Simple. Like it has always been. Kenma places his hands on Kuroo's arms, keeping him even closer.

It doesn't help his current dilemma that the band sings a lot about sex. In more creative, tasteful ways, sure. But they make Kenma ache for the boy jumping and swaying excitedly behind him. By the time the band is performing their last song, Kenma is positively burning. Kuroo feels hot too, though it’s probably from elation. Throughout the whole set he’s been flashing Kenma these grins and glances that make him look so handsome.

Kenma gnaws at his lip during the last song and the farewell speech. They need to go home or he might snap then and there.

Miraculously, he keeps up when Kuroo chats about the performance during their commute home. Kenma, despite his internal struggles during the show, regrets not seeing the band much earlier. They're really good performers and it's a shame they're disbanding. He discusses as much with Kuroo.

There aren’t a lot of people on the train anymore, so they risk holding hands and leaning close. Kissing would’ve been too dangerous, so Kenma settles for staring at Kuroo’s lips, daydreaming about how chapped they must be from a few hours of singing and screaming. Kenma can feel the buzz from the concert through Kuroo’s palm. He wonders if he’ll feel those hands on him tonight.

They take their time washing up and dressing, waiting for the adrenaline from the show to die down. Kenma passes the time sitting in bed, playing a gacha game while waiting for Kuroo to finish. It's the perfect amount of focused playing to distract him from his thoughts. So distracting, however, that he doesn't notice Kuroo sitting on the edge of the mattress next to him until he feels a hand on his waist. He discards his phone to look up at his boyfriend only to see the heat in his stare.

"Hey," Kuroo says, quiet but wanting.

That's all it takes for Kenma to grab and pull at Kuroo's arms until he's lying on top of the smaller man. Kenma leaves quick kisses to Kuroo's cheeks and lips as they settle comfortably. Kuroo only laughs on his way down.

Kenma shuts him up by claiming his lips. Kissing, sucking, and biting until the skin begins to look raw. Kuroo lets Kenma lead until the older man bites back, making the younger gasp. Taking the opportunity, Kuroo licks into Kenma's mouth.

Impatience threatens to spill out of Kenma, so he grabs on the end of Kuroo's sweater and pulls. This is answered by warm hands on Kenma's waist, rucking up his hoodie and inching up the smooth skin. Kenma's legs bracket around Kuroo's to give himself support as he grinds up to his boyfriend's crotch. Kuroo's half-hard too, but the lips on his suddenly stop.

"No, no. Kuro, please," Kenma whines. On the back of his mind, he knows that's the first time he's said that. The first time he's _done_ something like that. But he ignores it as he chases after Kuroo's lips.

"Kenma, maybe we should sleep. You must be tired, huh?" Nervous. It's unmistakable in Kuroo's voice. Dread mixes in with Kenma's growing arousal, so he finally gives Kuroo more space to lean back. More space away from him.

"Kuro, you can tell me, you know?" Kenma prompts. It's difficult to look directly at him now. Kenma told Akaashi he'd be fine with getting rejected and that still holds true. Doesn't mean it won't sting the first time he hears it though. He still wants to be understanding though, so he keeps eye contact when he asks, "Do you wanna have sex with me?"

The question must've been obvious from a mile away, but Kuroo still blushes at it being articulated. And it's so unfair because he looks damn cute like that. Kenma tries not to get distracted.

Kuroo decides to sit up instead of hovering over Kenma for this conversation. Kenma feels a lump forming in his throat, but he follows suit. Both of them are looking down at their bedsheet.

"It's cool if you don't want to," Kenma reassures quietly. He wishes he sounds sincere enough. "Though I'm gonna have to ask at least why, so that I don't overthink it or take it the wrong way."

"No, it isn't like that. Kenma, it isn't–" Kuroo pauses, not wanting to mess up. Kenma looks up to see Kuroo looking up at the ceiling, as if the right words are there. They hold each other's gazes when Kuroo looks at him again.

"I wanna do it. Of course, I do. Why would you even– I mean, look at you! You really don't know what you do to me." Kenma tries and fails not to smile a little at that. He's never heard that before, despite thinking it about Kuroo so many times. Looking so nervous and shy, Kuroo continues, "I'm just scared."

Kenma takes that as a cue to reach for Kuroo's hand, rubbing at the back of it with his thumb. "Of what?"

"Just… ugh, this is embarrassing!" Kuroo slaps a hand over his eyes. The red on his cheeks are now creeping onto his ears. Kenma inappropriately thinks about biting them to make them redder. Maybe later, since Kuroo apparently isn't opposed to sex.

With his hand still over his eyes, Kuroo finally says, "I'm afraid of hurting you."

"Eh? How?"

The hand drops and Kuroo looks like he really doesn't want to say whatever he's about to say. As if it's actually painful to articulate. So he mumbles out his answer.

"What?"

Still inaudible.

"Kuro," Kenma sighs out.

"I'm huge, okay! And fucking you would be a dream come true, so I don't think I'd be able to control myself much," Kuroo spills out in one breath. He takes his hand from Kenma, plants his face on the mattress, and groans on the sheets.

"You're ridiculous," Kenma says after a beat of silence, deadpan from disbelief.

"What?" comes from the mattress.

"I can't believe this. Why would you do this to me?"

"Ha?" Kuroo finally comes up again. He's positively lost about what Kenma was muttering about.

"You." A jab to Kuroo's thigh. "And your huge ass body and your stupidly handsome face have been making me suffer for weeks."

There's a pause before Kuroo interjects as he sits closer, the shyness suddenly gone from his face, "Oh, so you think I'm handsome?" 

"Shut up! That's all you got from what I said?" Kenma glares, but Kuroo's too busy beaming at the compliments to get affected. "You could've just prepped me well!"

"I'm just a little shy about it, okay?" Kuroo says. He's laughing now. At least the nerves have hopefully melted away.

With a blank stare and an annoyed tone, Kenma admits, "I totally expected you to be someone who'd brag about this kind of thing."

"Well, it's you we're talking about here."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"That kind of stuff doesn't work on you."

"Idiot. I'm just good at hiding it." Kenma hopes he's hiding his blush well now too. "Wouldn't want you getting a big head."

"Actually, it's already–"

" _Don't_ even finish that sentence."

Kuroo guffaws as he pulls Kenma to his chest. It's warm against his back, as it has always been. He feels Kuroo's breath before his lips land on his neck. The contact makes Kenma shiver. It's uncharted territory.

"Kenma," Kuroo says, his voice low and airy. Kenma's insides twist at the sound. It doesn't help that Kuroo doesn't stop kissing his neck. "You wanna do it?"

"You're not scared anymore?" he tries to taunt, but his own voice sounds so weak to his ears.

"Not anymore. A little kitty told me you like my size." Kuroo's hips lift a little, rubbing his clothed dick against Kenma's lower back. Kenma slaps at Kuroo's thighs, but, of course, it only makes his boyfriend laugh.

"I liked it better when you were shy," the younger man says, pouting at Kuroo's sudden confidence.

"No, you didn't." A kiss to his jaw.

"Yes, I did."

"No, you didn't." A kiss behind his ear.

"Yes, I–"

A hand cups at Kenma's cock, once again half-hard at Kuroo's ministrations. Kenma almost chokes when Kuroo fondles his balls and rubs along his length through the fabric. It's warm. So incredibly warm. Kenma's head falls against Kuroo's shoulder, giving his boyfriend more skin to mouth on.

"I've always wanted to touch you," Kuroo confesses as his other hand goes under Kenma's hoodie. The smaller man flinches when one of his nipples get pinched. "Sorry it took so long, baby."

The moan Kenma lets out is so embarrassingly unfamiliar to him, he places his hand on his mouth to block the sound. But more of these noises spill out of him as Kuroo's fingers pinch, roll, and fondle at Kenma. All the smaller boy can do is clutch at Kuroo's arm for purchase.

"Kuro, e-enough. Do something," he practically begs against his palm.

Thankfully, Kuroo doesn't take the opportunity to retort. Instead, he's quick to deliver. Clothes are impatiently thrown to the floor to reveal Kenma's smooth, soft skin. Sitting on top of Kuroo's thighs like this, Kenma has to look down at his face, but the hungry look Kuroo is giving him doesn't make him feel any bigger.

"What do you wanna do?" Kuroo asks as his hands make their way to Kenma's ass. He groans into the setter's chest as he gropes and squeezes. His hands are roaming all over Kenma's back when he exhales, "Fuck. Kenma, this is driving me crazy."

"Kuro, inside," Kenma slides his hand over Kuroo's own erection before tugging at the garter of his sweatpants. His boyfriend shudders at the touch. "Want you inside."

"Okay, okay. Lie down for me," Kuroo tries to maneuver Kenma gently on the mattress, but he just won't budge. Kenma quickens his hand’s pace, staring at the growing bulge in a daze. Kuroo groans. With a strain in his voice, he tells his boyfriend, “Kenma, you need to stop if you want me to fuck you.”

“Can I have it in my mouth too?” Kenma asks with earnest eyes. A quiet “Jesus Christ” comes out of Kuroo as he blushes further.

He manages to force himself away from the warmth of Kenma's hand to strip himself of his pants and boxers. With the older of the two standing next to the bed, Kenma is face to face with his boyfriend's erect cock standing in its full glory.

"Fuck," Kenma whispers. His jaw actually drops a little. He has had a hunch about Kuroo's size. Though in truth it’s more of a wish that the universe bestowed his boyfriend with the cock of his dreams. Fortunately enough, Kuroo Tetsurou always delivers.

Kenma starts to lean in to lick at the length. But Kuroo's hands on his shoulders keep him in place. Annoyed and struggling to inch closer, Kenma glares up at Kuroo. "What are you doing?"

"You're not sucking my dick," Kuroo declares, sounding resolute.

Kenma almost seethes. How dare he. After all Kenma's been through because of him. He even asked nicely. With steely eyes, Kenma threatens sweetly, "Kuro, you're going to let me if you know what's good for you."

"Ha!" Kuroo's lips stretch to his signature smug grin. "Threatening me won't work anymore. It just makes you look hot as fuck I just get horny instead of scared."

Unimpressed, Kenma blankly asks, "Is that something you should say so proudly?"

It makes Kuroo laugh, loud and ugly. But Kenma can't help the way he smiles at the sound. He relaxes enough that Kuroo is able to get him to lie down, accepting the rejection.

When Kuroo settles on top of him, in between skinnier legs, he kisses at Kenma's cheeks, jaw, and lips. His voice is warm and gentle when Kuroo says, "Just let me take care of you tonight, okay?"

The tenderness makes Kenma's stomach flutter. It's ridiculous, but he likes it. With a nod, he accepts.

They kiss, quick and sweet, before Kuroo gets up to grab a condom and bottle out of his bedside drawer. Kuroo snaps the bottle open once he’s back in position and pours a generous amount of lube on his fingers. As he warms the liquid up, he asks carefully, "This isn't your first time, right?"

"No," comes Kenma's meek answer. His eyes are trained on Kuroo's fingers. They look good, all slicked up like that. He's getting impatient.

Thankfully, Kuroo seems to feel the same sentiment, pushing a finger into Kenma.

"Y-you can put in two," Kenma says, spreading his legs wider. The finger withdraws only to have two thick ones enter him again. There is little resistance against the pucker.

"Oh? Do this to yourself recently?" Kuroo teases. The roughness in his voice makes Kenma's head spin. But he raises an eyebrow and teases back, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Kuroo only gives him a smirk as a warning before licking along his length. Kenma jerks in surprise, but Kuroo holds his hip down and quickens the pace of his fingers. _Strong._ The display of strength makes Kenma mewl even more.

"'m putting in ‘nother, okay?" To which, Kenma nods.

As Kuroo pumps three fingers into him, he continues to lazily mouth at Kenma's cock. Tears start to pool in the younger's eyes.

"Hot. So hot. Fuck, Kuro," he mumbles almost incoherently, hands clutching at their bedsheet. He feels Kuroo smirk against his skin.

The fingers inside him curve suddenly, pressing purposely onto his walls and eventually hitting his prostate head on. Kenma cries out, wet and desperate. Kuroo only continues to pick up the pace, pausing briefly just to press on the bundle of nerves. The feeling is incredible. Kenma can't believe he thought he could live on and not have Kuroo do this to him.

He looks down only to see Kuroo already looking back at him—hazel eyes hungry and proud. His boyfriend eases up to kiss him on the lips as his fingers continue to open him up.

Another finger slips in next to the other three and there's that sting again. Kenma's never been stretched out with four fingers before. Let alone fingers as long and thick as Kuroo's. The stretch is new and intimidating, but he finds himself deliriously into it. Panting and moaning into the cool air of the room.

"You're doing so good, Kenma," Kuroo praises against his neck. Bruises will bloom on that skin tomorrow morning, Kenma’s sure of it.

“Kuro, I’m— _Ah!_ I’m ready, please,” Kenma whimpers after a few more minutes of being prepped. As much as he loves Kuroo’s fingers in him, he’s ready for the real thing.

He watches with wet eyes as Kuroo withdraws his hand away from his entrance and sighs at the empty feeling. Kuroo moves to roll the condom on his cock and pours more lube on the length. His movements are hurried. Impatient. As Kuroo looms over Kenma again, he pushes on soft thighs, bringing Kenma’s legs closer to his chest. With an arm on the mattress next to Kenma’s shoulder and a hand around his cock, Kuroo swipes the tip of the head along the taint a few times.

“Stop teasing,” Kenma scolds, slapping at Kuroo’s shoulder lightly.

He gets a quick kiss on the lips before he feels Kuroo enter. Slow and careful. There’s still a sting and a stretch beyond how he was prepped, but Kenma bites on his lip and endures. Every time he thinks Kuroo has bottomed out, more of him pushes in. His eyes are starting to get wet again.

“You’re doing so well, baby. Taking me _so well_ ,” Kuroo assures before kissing him again, making Kenma release his lip. In between kisses, he says, “You’re so tight. God. I wanna die like this.”

“Oh my god, shut up,” Kenma chides, voice weak and embarrassed.

They stay pressed together as Kenma adjusts to Kuroo's size. His thighs are shaking. Nails digging into broad shoulders. But he relaxes after some time and nods for Kuroo to continue.

He thrusts in and out, gentle and deliberate, eyes trained on Kenma's face for any sign of pain. But Kenma just has his mouth open in a tiny O and straining his neck to see where Kuroo's cock is piercing him. He feels every inch dragging against his walls.

"Kuro. It's really—fuck. Feels good," he says, head falling on the pillow again. “You’re so big. ‘m so full. Fuck.”

One of his hands cup Kuroo’s cheek and the older man turns to kiss the middle of his palm. Sweet as ever, Kuroo takes Kenma's hand in his as he continues fucking into him. Kuroo thrusts in slow and hard before pistoning his hips faster, reaching deeper. Quick moans of _ah ah ah_ s leave Kenma's mouth as his back arches from pleasure. At one particular thrust, Kenma's vision goes white for a second.

"Fuck! There! Do it again!"

"Hmm? Here?"

Kuroo does it again and Kenma actually sobs. Fingers slip into his open mouth, which he readily sucks and licks all over, muffling his moaning. “Keep it down, baby. You’re gonna wake the neighbors,” Kuroo shushes. His eyes are sharp and full of pride as he looks at Kenma’s no doubt fucked out face.

No more finesse, Kuroo’s hips go faster and faster. He has one of Kenma’s thighs in a bruising grip while he pants and groans on the younger’s neck. Kenma’s head is going blank from how good he feels. Body buzzing and hot. He gasps when Kuroo wraps a hand around his ignored cock, smearing the leaking precum with his thumb.

“Kenma, come for me.”

“Close. I’m so close. Kuro, please.”

“I’ve got you. I’m here.”

He strokes Kenma faster, almost in time with the pace of his hips. Kenma’s body goes rigid then pleasantly pliant as he shoots cum all over his chest. Kuroo’s hand keeps pumping him, making him messy and slick.

“Ah, hurts,” Kenma winces, grabbing Kuroo’s hand to lick at his release. Kuroo goes crazy at the sight.

“Fuck. You’re killing me, Kenma,” he growls before holding on to Kenma’s shoulders tightly and chasing his own pleasure. Teeth latch on to Kenma’s skin as Kuroo’s hips still. Kenma feels his insides getting warmer and how Kuroo’s cock is still pulsing in him. After everything they’ve done, that makes him blush the most.

The drag of Kuroo’s cock pulling out of him is torture. Kenma sighs at the empty feeling, already thinking about the next time he’d have Kuroo in him. The bed dips as Kuroo reaches to throw the condom into the bin and again when he slumps on Kenma afterwards.

“Kuro, heavy.”

“Let me just stay here for a while.”

“You’re crushing me.” Kenma pushes at Kuroo’s shoulder without much yield. His boyfriend chuckles as he makes himself even heavier on Kenma’s much smaller body.

“Thought you like how big I am,” Kuroo says, pretending to sound hurt.

“I never said that. Who said that?”

Kuroo finally slides off of Kenma, but he keeps an arm and a leg draped over him. So, Kuroo’s clingy after sex. That’s something Kenma totally expected.

They stay in silence for a while. Taking their time to catch their breath. But Kenma’s skin is starting to feel tacky and disgusting, so he tells Kuroo as much.

“I’m gonna get you a washcloth,” he says, already getting out of bed.

“But I want a bath,” Kenma complains, looking at the mess he made on himself.

Kuroo heads to the bathroom anyway. Over the sound of running water, he says, “I don’t have the energy to carry you right now. You sucked it right outta me.”

“You don’t have to _carry_ me,” Kenma scoffs. He’s about to prove his point, rolling over to sit up, when a sharp pain shoots through his lower back and down his hips. He immediately lies down again with a groan.

In the bathroom, Kuroo singsongs, “I told you so.”

So Kenma stays in bed and waits to be cleaned up. He’s boring holes on the ceiling as he grumbles to himself. Truly unbelievable. He suffers when he doesn’t get Kuroo’s dick and suffers when he does. But, seeing Kuroo approaching him with the same fond look he’s been receiving for over a decade, Kenma’s sure he definitely prefers the latter and so much more of what they have now.

**Author's Note:**

> i was struggling with making kenma horny and soft lol not sure if i succeeded. i’m so rusty at this. ;-; kudos and comments are much appreciated! <3


End file.
